via @buddhadoodles

“the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”  eleanor roosevelt

“respond to every call that excites your spirit.”

rumi

these two statements resonate deeply with me. i wholeheartedly believe them and have tried to live in this manner since leaving regular work life in 2008. i’ve made my own way since that time, doing the two things i love the most … writing and teaching yoga.

and over the last nine years things have changed – a lot. don’t they always? during certain years i’ve done more of this and less of that. i’ve always moved in the direction of money and sometimes not for the right reasons, but out of necessity. (no i didn’t strip and everything i’ve ever done has been legal! shame on you.) i have, however, worked for clients who’ve asked me to do things outside of what i love. i obliged and subsequently haulted those tasks when it became too much.

the back story is that i sold my soul when i worked for the man; something i’m not willing to do again. i work for myself for a reason. ultimately it comes back to that.

TODAY

that’s what is important – today;

here we are today; it’s where we always are;

for me, life is in flux again;

i am reevaluating. i have to.

thank God for the gift of discernment.

to my surprise, after slowing down enough to look more closely, i am finding that i am answering calls that do not excite my soul because of all of the ‘shoulds’ in my head.

it’s time i stop again.

“when one door closes, another opens.” that’s how the saying goes, right? but instead of trusting the process, my modus operandi is to be consumed with thoughts about where, how and when my next opportunity will present itself. STOP!

that is why i practice yoga. it shows me my tendencies and reveals where i need to slow down, let go, trust. luckily i’m pretty good at verbalizing those lessons; that’s why i teach. it is my life’s work to learn, communicate and help others.

hello lightbulb

epiphany

A HA moment

constantly learning, internalizing, communicating (writing) and teaching from my body = living what i love

i don’t have all of the answers today and that is okay; in fact its more than okay. i see that i rush far too often. it’s not helpful. “slow the fuck down,” i tell myself. i am always writing frantically in an effort to figure things out. but some things can’t be figured out with the left brain. in fact, a lot of things can’t be figured out that way.

yes, here i am today, in this moment. learning to trust, and writing about it so i can continue to figure it out – as well as hopefully help others like me. i know i’m not alone. we are all unique, yet all so similar at the same time.

so for this next phase i’m relying on the first two quotes i started this post with; in essence to “live what i love.”

i won’t sit back and just let life happen to me. i am making plans, directing the future, putting my efforts into those things that excite my soul.

i firmly believe the universe has my back.

what about you? are you living life on your terms? what do you need to do to get there?

namaste, heather